Corporate correspondence

I saw a funny letter to a maxi pad company this morning over at DST, and it got me thinking about some corporate letters that I've wanted to write for some time. One of them is similar to the joke I read. Here goes. Dear Kotex, Which of your product designers decided that putting real Velcro on your maxi pad wings would be a brilliant innovention? Clearly not one who's ever had to walk 15 blocks through midtown Manhattan with the velcro coming loose and rubbing a 2" raw wound into each of his inner thighs. I recommend you get on the treadmill with a Brillo pad in your shorts and give it a try. Sincerely, Chafed Dear Target, Why do you enclose your Cherokee boys' briefs in ziptop packaging? Surely you don't expect me to remove the underwear, then use the bag to store my dinner leftovers? Sincerely, Grossed Out